June 2012
18 posts
The great(est) Dane (Cook)
William Shakespeare was perhaps the greatest Dane Cook to spawn out of his era, and his ability to create comic verse should not go unlooked.
Shitty excuse
Professor I missed my exam because I took a pooping tea last night for weight loss and as soon as I get some clothes on and one foot out the door I have to run back to the toilet.
The American Dream is dead.
The American Dream, just like George Washington, is dead. Unlike George Washington, however, no one ever bothered to bury the American Dream. Instead of giving the dream a proper burial, we’ve stood the old lady up like a scarecrow, perverted her with makeup and a boob job, and then sat her out by the statue of liberty to mock incoming immigrants.
What can you do?
What happens in the past is the past. Hiroshima was bad, but what can you do?
Dead end
Gynecologists treat conditions of the cul de sac.
Almost puritanical prostitute
Whistler’s mother was a strong, almost puritanical prostitute.
Job security
Archeology is the study of things by scholars so they can teach students.
The classics
I’m quoting from the ancient Greek philosopher Aeropostale.
Slipped a dick
I am not going to be in class today I have slipped a dick in my back and it is very painful. I can hardly get out of bed.
Let slip the squirrels of war
The American public is a servant to the whims of the media, and while the media is a dog who sees a squirrel every five seconds, there is always one squirrel bigger than the rest that it keeps chasing. In the mid-2000’s that squirrel was the Iraq war.
Wild gay meat
You can avoid trichinosis by not eating pork and wild gay meat.
Elizabethan Era
William Shakespeare lived in London but born in England, and was married to Elizabethan Era.
That Black Obama
He was trying to persuade them that they should not pay for the mistakes of that Black Obama.
Sexile, maybe.
It might not be an epic or a novel, but MTV’s The Real World does deal with characters who are facing exile and who are enriched by the experience.
You can see Russia from my house.
Christopher Columbus sailed to the Americas thinking it was Russia.
Where everything is just right
Janie and her husband get tired of the racism they experience in the city, so they decide to move to anal black town.
Diarrhea of the poem
Then the poem shits to death.
"Equal rights"
In America we have “equal rights” so the Government says although women still get paid a lower salary than males, they still try.
